I can peel potatoes at lightening speed. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in my lunch hour and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA.
I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Namibia, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. #RimmelSixty #FridayPrizeDay
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