I hate doing this – airing my dirty laundry in public. The internet is no place to vent or to look for sympathy. I’m not posting this for sympathy. In fact I’m paying tribute to my little sister who has proved to be a much better daughter and more patient towards our father than I could ever be.
Without divulging too many boring details, we’re going through a very difficult time. Our father is in rehab for alcohol abuse and while he’s there we’ve come to discover his extremely outstanding and very disturbing debts: like little monsters emerging from their hiding places. Every time we think there’s a glimmer of hope when we’ve managed to settle one of the creditors, we find another one lurking.
Through this entire ordeal my little sis (23) has shown so much maturity, compassion and lenience and I have seen how strong she can be.
When he was admitted, she was the one to take him, make sure he had “spending money”, snacks, coffee and the whole enchilada. She went to visit him EVERY time it was family night, she settled the amount owing to the very scary and annoying loan shark and she spent every Saturday with him from 9 till 4 – entertaining him and making sure he gets his washing done. This doesn’t seem like much if you don’t know my father. He’s exhausting, irritating and unappreciative of everything. When and if he ever says thank you, you know it is only coz he has to say it. He’s the proverbial “them” who grabs the hand when given the finger. I get the idea that he has a “I-made-you-so-be-grateful” kind of attitude and he just expects us to do everything he says.
What have I done? Knowing my father I’ve decided to distance myself from this entire situation. I show up whenever I feel like it and even then I make it pretty clear that I don’t want to be there. I have my own personal issues to deal with regarding him and I have a lot of forgiving to do before I can even think of having a relationship with him. My sister, on the other hand, wears a smile and a friendly voice and supports him every step of the way.
The reason I’m posting this is because she’s not getting the recognition she deserves and should be honoured with the “Daughter of the year” award instead of the horrible attitude lack of appreciation she is currently getting. So to you, Adel, my little sis, I want to say you’re the strongest 23 year old I know. You’re considerate, loving, selfless and above all compassionate and you deserve to know how awesome you are! I love you!